Understandably, the above term refers to study of cheeks.

Not literally, though.

It is not analogous to Anthropology where one studies human societies, their cultures biological and physiological characteristics and their evolution.

One would ridicule my above narrative for lack of clarity on the basic thought process expected before holding the pen. Well, I respect the contempt but it would be premature to write me off. It actually has a lot to do with the ‘Cheeks’.

I intend to post mortem the newly acquired practice of rubbing cheeks against each other while greeting in the so-called “High Societies”. This practice is prevalent amongst the ‘elite’ [sic] class more often than the rest of the Indian society. However, slowly it has crept into the system of not so elite segment of the Indian society too.

Nothing wrong with it technically, I agree.

How can I question the ever-questioning Gen next! The freedom of speech types, I mean.

However, I question its inevitability in pursuit of anything western and fair which unfortunately, is considered better than our own set of values, culture, etiquettes and social norms. We cannot alter the course too soon though since the practice does not have its roots in ancestry. It is merely due to our mysterious and blind love for copying western culture.

It is the urge to be seen class apart from the herd or the “cattle class”.

The subsequent question that clouds my feeble mind is why a certain class of people offer their unshaven / silky smooth cheeks while greeting than following established Indian forms of greeting.

Is it sub-standard to fold hands and say Namaste or shake hands?

Aren’t we doing ‘Namaste’ in this age of Corona?

If the Ultra rich people or more recently even the upper middle class loath exposing their disinfected palms and washed hands, they are sadly hoodwinked by their unfounded idea.

The cheeks are equally, if not more, greasy and dirty.

I am convinced that people wash their hands now often than their faces. The only silver lining that can be imagined, while insisting on “Cheekshake“, is that one gets to experience an added intimacy with the other person which otherwise would be a distant dream.

But again, wait!

Even this tactless logic would sound striking only when the person to be greeted is from the Venus. The brain cells, I agree, raise the level of testosterone on encountering a lady with fair, smooth cheeks. Obviously, not all can touch these desirable cheeks under normal circumstances. Hence, this idea enables one to explore the unexplorable. What is even funnier is the art of pouting lips as one approach the unexplored territory on the map of others’ face. Finally, the fake sound made to conclude the whole process is the last nail in the coffin. I am referring to that “Muaah – Muaah” thud.

It may sound similar to the sacred sound reserved for the bedroom.

May be, I am jealous because I have been unsuccessful in this field. I have not tried this even with my wife. We prefer to hug each other when we meet rather than be seen vulgar sounding “Muaah – Muaah”. In fact, why would I greet her like a westerner when there are so many traditional, time-honored, refined, dignified, tolerable and more personal Indian ways to adopt rather than trying to join the bandwagon? Indian culture has distinct and highly acceptable forms of greeting. I would touch feet of elder family members and my teachers, say ‘Namaste’ to others and hug those closer to my heart to convey my ‘real’ happiness. ‘Cheeksology’ communicates neither the desired intent nor our true feelings to the object. Respect and love have no better way of expression than a warm meaningful hug or other forms of greeting mentioned above. Of course, these can be excusable if the intentions are to drive satisfaction of feeling someone’s cheeks.

I would personally hate to get close to the unknown territory and make that utterly disgusting sound.

Why not hug the whole person than go only for the cheeks?

A better deal, isn’t it?

Signing off with hugs and respects!!

~ Col AC




2 thoughts on “CHEEKSOLOGY

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